Saturday, January 14, 2012

Laser (Pointer) Tag and a Good Monster

I really, honestly wish I had a video to show you of the hilarity that is Laser Pointer Tag. But I don't, because I don't own a camcorder. Instead, I shall attempt to describe it.

So, I live right in the middle of downtown Moscow, and when the drunken "woohoos" and "yeeeeahs" of the Friday night college students wake me up from my peaceful "have to get up at 6 a.m." slumber, I exact my delicious and hilarious payback. For my birthday last year (March 2, in case anyone cares), my parents got me a gift certificate for, a fine purveyor of the silly, inane, and awesome. With this, I purchased a number of objects, one of which was a green laser pointer. Unlike the ubiquitous red laser pointer, the beam that emanates from this model can be seen clearly in any lighting condition dimmer than broad daylight. The dot at the terminus of the beam is a brilliant green and thus a relative oddity to the inebriated Friday night crowd.

Thus was Laser Pointer Tag born. When Friday's noise inevitably wakes me up, I clamber out of bed, grab my green laser toy, and off to the windows in my apartment that border on the street. From there, I can tag any number of "under the influence" college students, or run the dot around in circles, or put it on someone's back, only to turn it off the moment they begin to look up. It's especially hilarious when the object of my jest blames someone across the street and makes "I see what you're doing there" gestures at them. Only once have I been caught at my silly game, at which point the victim shouted a few choice obscenities concerning my nether anatomy, and then continued on his way.

This is, of course, immature. But what manner of practical joke isn't? This kind of thing comprises the majority of the jollies I get these days. If I can't make fun of the stupid kids of which I once was, what can I do? Thanks to my little brother, I have a defense against what could happen if a drunken jock doesn't get the joke and storms up to my apartment to exact petty revenge, but I don't think that will ever be necessary. Most people just have fun with it. A few people have even chased the green dot around the empty Moscow streets like tipsy cats. It's good, clean fun, and hurts no one.

On a completely unrelated note, I found a Dubstep (translation: especially twitchy Techno) video that makes you really root for the monster. It's Skrillex's Equinox: First of the Year, and the official music video is amazing.

The bass unit that I picked up second-hand at a yard sale is amazing for this song.

If you want "lyrics" of a sort, my recently-married little brother found this edition for me, which is uncanny in its accuracy, and has improved my own totally sweet dance moves and lip synching, which I will show you all as soon as I acquire the aforementioned camcorder (probably from my brother as well).

Hilarious, but a total failure as a sing-along video. Anyway, that's it. I have to go to work in four hours. Huzzah for insomnia, right?

1 comment:

  1. It's too bad I don't have a laser pointer of my own. Ah well. The way you torture those drunk people DOES sound rather hilarious, though.