Laser (Pointer) Tag and a Good Monster

I really, honestly wish I had a video to show you of the hilarity that is Laser Pointer Tag. But I don't, because I don't own a camcorder. Instead, I shall attempt to describe it.

So, I live right in the middle of downtown Moscow, and when the drunken "woohoos" and "yeeeeahs" of the Friday night college students wake me up from my peaceful "have to get up at 6 a.m." slumber, I exact my delicious and hilarious payback. For my birthday last year (March 2, in case anyone cares), my parents got me a gift certificate for Thinkgeek.com, a fine purveyor of the silly, inane, and awesome. With this, I purchased a number of objects, one of which was a green laser pointer. Unlike the ubiquitous red laser pointer, the beam that emanates from this model can be seen clearly in any lighting condition dimmer than broad daylight. The dot at the terminus of the beam is a brilliant green and thus a relative oddity to the inebriated Friday night crowd.

Thus was Laser Pointer Tag born. When Friday's noise inevitably wakes me up, I clamber out of bed, grab my green laser toy, and off to the windows in my apartment that border on the street. From there, I can tag any number of "under the influence" college students, or run the dot around in circles, or put it on someone's back, only to turn it off the moment they begin to look up. It's especially hilarious when the object of my jest blames someone across the street and makes "I see what you're doing there" gestures at them. Only once have I been caught at my silly game, at which point the victim shouted a few choice obscenities concerning my nether anatomy, and then continued on his way.

This is, of course, immature. But what manner of practical joke isn't? This kind of thing comprises the majority of the jollies I get these days. If I can't make fun of the stupid kids of which I once was, what can I do? Thanks to my little brother, I have a defense against what could happen if a drunken jock doesn't get the joke and storms up to my apartment to exact petty revenge, but I don't think that will ever be necessary. Most people just have fun with it. A few people have even chased the green dot around the empty Moscow streets like tipsy cats. It's good, clean fun, and hurts no one.

On a completely unrelated note, I found a Dubstep (translation: especially twitchy Techno) video that makes you really root for the monster. It's Skrillex's Equinox: First of the Year, and the official music video is amazing.



The bass unit that I picked up second-hand at a yard sale is amazing for this song.


If you want "lyrics" of a sort, my recently-married little brother found this edition for me, which is uncanny in its accuracy, and has improved my own totally sweet dance moves and lip synching, which I will show you all as soon as I acquire the aforementioned camcorder (probably from my brother as well).



Hilarious, but a total failure as a sing-along video. Anyway, that's it. I have to go to work in four hours. Huzzah for insomnia, right?

Of Marriages and Mashups

Whoever thought of throwing two completely different things together to make something more awesome by their joined forces, of making the melody and harmony from two different genres and backgrounds, is a genius. Who would have thought that Kanye West and Rihanna would have sounded great when mixed with Johann Sebastian Bach's Tocatta and Fugue, or that my little brother would ever find a girl who found him attractive and wonderful?

Because I never figured that in the same year, I would actually like something by Kanye West, and also see my bro get married. Both of them boggle my mind a bit.

In case the reader is wondering exactly what the author means by this, bide your time, the explanation is forthcoming. The piece of music in question is called "Run this Town and Fugue," a mashup of the Rihanna/West song "Run This Town" and Bach's "Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor." Here it is on Youtube:

Warning, minor profanity, because it's still Kanye West, who doesn't seem to be able to produce a song without any in it.

This mashup is done by the duo "DJs from Mars," and is one of four or five truly excellent mashups they've done. I bought an album of just their mashups, actually, and it was worth it. It's good solid electronica, especially if you're familiar at all with classic 80s electronica by groups such as Bananarama or Soft Cell. Then you actually know both the songs that are being combined, and enjoy it more.

Also, it's now been a week and half since my little brother Alex got himself married to a wonderful gal who's a mutual friend of ours, Jessie Rosenthal. We've known her for years, and that he asked her to marry him didn't really surprise me that much. It was a surprise that she said yes, but not too big of one. See, he and I have both grown out of the children that we once were, the children who were at each other's throats near constantly before their departures to assorted colleges and/or corners of the United States. He grew out of being obnoxious for the sake of being obnoxious and getting pleasure from irritating me, and I grew out of the hair-trigger temper and nano-particle thin skin. Now when we see one another, there's bear hugs and fist bumps and "watch this sweet dubstep video" and "let's go shoot my Glock."

But there's still this sense that he "beat me" at the whole "find your soulmate" thing. Pardon the overuse of quotation marks, but since I know there's not a real way to win except by finding them, or lose by not doing so, it's probably just petty whining on my part. But couple this with the somewhat existential flavor of lonely I've been feeling recently... let's just say the wedding, while short, sweet, and beautiful, didn't help me much. But it wasn't FOR me, I keep telling that fat inflated beast of an ego I have. It was for Alex and Jessie. And I'm genuinely happy for them. It couldn't have happened to a nicer Elven princess and obnoxious little twerp.

On a completely unrelated note, I now have a shiny new black fedora. I can once more terrorize Moscow with my awesomeness. Thanks Grandma!

On a note further unrelated still, I now own a Talking Princess Celestia figurine by Hasbro, bringing the total number of My Little Ponies I own up to two (neither of which did I buy myself). Again, for some reason, thanks, Grandma. I'm sure she chuckled a bit while packing this in the same box as a suave fedora. Now to find a way to spray paint the figurine white like she is in the show without ruining the mane, tail, and wings...

In which the Author Muses Musically, and Ponders Politically

My back is feeling better. With the exception of the occasional twinge if I sit for too long, barely pains me at all. Huzzah for modern medical science! At least no one tried to bleed me. Well, there was that one nurse who might have been trying to. How else do you 'miss' the giant blue veins on my hands? I mean, they're RIGHT THERE and HUGE.

Anyway, no rambling about back pain. It's answered prayer, and I am grateful for it. I will instead ramble about music!

For those of you who don't know me very well, I enjoy lots of stuff from the electronic genre. My current favorite artist, for multiple reasons, is "VNV Nation," especially their most recent album "Of Faith, Power, and Glory." It typifies pretty much everything I like about the electronic genre: a driving beat, heavy synthesizers in combination with actual instruments, and good vocals with harmony.

Exhibit A: "In Defiance" from the aforementioned album. It has a positive message with some battle metaphors in it, a driving beat, hot synth lines, and a piano. And then there's Ronan Harris, the singer. That man's voice just makes my ears happy. For some reason his mellow baritone just kind of makes me feel safe and warm. I've fallen asleep dozens of times listening to his "Illusion" on the album "Judgement" (which coincidentally contains one of my other favorite songs by them, "Testament"). If I could meet one person from one band, it would be Harris, and I'd try to convince him to let me sing a duet with him.

I'd also recommend the entire Judgement album (yes, it's the British spelling of judgment, because the band's from Ireland). It's got half a dozen outstanding pieces on it, and the rest's not bad.

Another song that's very similar but lighter on the synth, is Assemblage 23's "Hooked." The harmony in Hooked is simple, but golden. I keep singing bits of it with my friend Avery. I think I just prefer male vocalists in electronica. Female vocalists in this genre tend to have higher-pitched, squeaky voices that grate on my nerves.

And on an unrelated note (music pun ha ha), I've also been listening to a lot of oldies recently. Bing Crosby and Bob Hope are among my favorites for their style and humor, and Frank Sinatra's crooning is just as sexy as it was when he first sang those songs in the 40s.

Speaking of battle metaphors and voices that grate on my nerves, am I the only person who is both tired of and disappointed by the constant screeching at each other that our politicians are doing in the aftermath of the Tuscon shooting? Listen, irrespective of whether or not violent language contributed to the decision of a disturbed individual to start shooting at people, politicians shouldn't be using that kind of language.

Yes, I know that the American political system has never been the most civil place. I mean, people used to get beaten down with canes in our senate building (during the debate on slavery). When senators couldn't get their way merely a few years ago, they'd blather on and on, wasting their time and our tax dollars in a less-than-fair tactic called a filibuster. But when you're drawing crosshairs on people's heads, using battle-ready language, and calling up images of reasons used to justify the Holocaust, something has gone horribly wrong.

It's not that Republicans are wrong, and Democrats are right, or vice versa. It's that both of them need to simmer down and do some serious self examination. Sure, in this country we have the right to say whatever we want to the guy across the street. But the founding fathers made sure we had these rights with the idea of common sense in mind, thank you Mr. Paine. Shouldn't common sense and self-control keep our politicians' words in check?

Apparently not. Next time an election comes up, pay close attention to the kind of rhetoric your favorite candidate uses. If they can't be civil, they're not getting my vote.

End of rant.

I'm taking 16 credits this semester (down from 19), most of which are writing-intensive, so my amount of writing I'm getting done on work that I want to do is going to suffer. I will at least have time for editing the book into publishable shape by April, I hope.

On to immense loads of writing homework. You may continue with your lives.