Episode Synopses in Five Words

So I was warming up my brain to do some writing today, and also having a discussion with a friend on why he should watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I've been watching the show for almost a year now, and have been spreading the love when I find people who like goofy animated things.

He's being recalcitrant, and I wanted to give him an overview of the series. So, author that I am, I made up an exercise to get me thinking, and here are the results: each episode of MLP:FIM boiled down to a five word synopsis.

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Season One:

1-01: Bookworms have difficulty making friends.
1-02: Friends help destroy evil deities.
1-03: Pushy friends make life suck.
1-04: Overwork kills sanity and productivity.
1-05: Bullying griffon might be homosexual.
1-06: Twilight Sparkle conquers Celestial Bears. (Alternate: The Great and Powerful Trixie!)
1-07: Kick dragons in the face!
1-08: A Sleepover of Disastrous Consequences.
1-09: Cursed flowers and Zebra alchemy. (Alternate: Always speaking rhymes is difficult)
1-10: Flying Tribbles devour the town.
1-11: OCD and magical weather control.
1-12: No, you're not special, kid. (Alternate: I don't envy their teacher.)
1-13: Why I dislike jocks, demonstrated.
1-14: Episode three, only with dresses. (Alternate: We don't normally wear clothes.)
1-15: Precognition fails to predict Hydras. (Alternate: Freaky psychic incinerates Twilight Sparkle)
1-16: Bravado crumbles beneath self-doubt. (Alternate: Rainbooms are not physically possible.)
1-17: Weak exteriors conceal lethal strength.
1-18: Oblivious children miss the point.
1-19: Slaving canines defeated by whining. (Alternate: Rarity is a manipulative bint.)
1-20: Everything that's wrong with fashion.
1-21: My Little Racism: Wild West (Alternate: Racism? In My Little Pony?)
1-22: A phoenix trolls almost everyone. (Alternate: The Princess trolls people also)
1-23: Everybody's backstories, all at once.
1-24: An owl trolls Twilight's dragon.
1-25: Pinkie's brain breaks. Creepiness ensues.
1-26: Everything goes horribly wrong simultaneously.

Season Two:

2-01: Star Trek's "Q" invades Equestria. (Alternate: Star Trek plus ponies? Winner!)
2-02: Mindrape solves all friendship problems.
2-03: OCD almost causes children harm.
2-04: Halloween isn't fun for monsters.
2-05: Lying to children solves problems.
2-06: Eating weird plants solves problems. (Alternate: Children immune to Darwin's Law...)
2-07: Bravado, musicals, and epic tortoises.
2-08: Mostly Batman as a pony.
2-09: Apparently High Society engenders snobbishness. (Alternate: Rarity finally gets character development)
2-10: Draconic King Kong parody, ponified.
2-11: Electric apples teach elder respect.
2-12: Silent Hill while babysitting toddlers.
2-13: Boring world-building backstory episode.
2-14: Lying might get you murdered. (Alternate: Disappointing friends is really rough.)
2-15: Con men and hard cider.
2-16: Indiana Jones meets Solid Snake.
2-17: Drinking poison on Valentine's day.
2-18: Pinkie has freakish paranormal powers. (Alternate: Taunting bald people? You jerk.)
2-19: Minotaur self-help guru fails.
2-20: Time travel always engenders paradox.
2-21: Are all adolescent dragons intolerable?
2-22: Weather control via feathered equines.
2-23: Pony Journalism, including J. Jameson.
2-24: Three simultaneous parodies, plus Sherlock. (Alternate: Ponies with no self-control.)
2-25: And suddenly, a big brother.
2-26: Disney got nothing on ponies.

...whoo, that was fun. Now to do some actual writing.

BONUS ROUND: Do this same thing, only all five words must be ALLITERATION OH NOES

Of Marriages and Mashups

Whoever thought of throwing two completely different things together to make something more awesome by their joined forces, of making the melody and harmony from two different genres and backgrounds, is a genius. Who would have thought that Kanye West and Rihanna would have sounded great when mixed with Johann Sebastian Bach's Tocatta and Fugue, or that my little brother would ever find a girl who found him attractive and wonderful?

Because I never figured that in the same year, I would actually like something by Kanye West, and also see my bro get married. Both of them boggle my mind a bit.

In case the reader is wondering exactly what the author means by this, bide your time, the explanation is forthcoming. The piece of music in question is called "Run this Town and Fugue," a mashup of the Rihanna/West song "Run This Town" and Bach's "Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor." Here it is on Youtube:

Warning, minor profanity, because it's still Kanye West, who doesn't seem to be able to produce a song without any in it.

This mashup is done by the duo "DJs from Mars," and is one of four or five truly excellent mashups they've done. I bought an album of just their mashups, actually, and it was worth it. It's good solid electronica, especially if you're familiar at all with classic 80s electronica by groups such as Bananarama or Soft Cell. Then you actually know both the songs that are being combined, and enjoy it more.

Also, it's now been a week and half since my little brother Alex got himself married to a wonderful gal who's a mutual friend of ours, Jessie Rosenthal. We've known her for years, and that he asked her to marry him didn't really surprise me that much. It was a surprise that she said yes, but not too big of one. See, he and I have both grown out of the children that we once were, the children who were at each other's throats near constantly before their departures to assorted colleges and/or corners of the United States. He grew out of being obnoxious for the sake of being obnoxious and getting pleasure from irritating me, and I grew out of the hair-trigger temper and nano-particle thin skin. Now when we see one another, there's bear hugs and fist bumps and "watch this sweet dubstep video" and "let's go shoot my Glock."

But there's still this sense that he "beat me" at the whole "find your soulmate" thing. Pardon the overuse of quotation marks, but since I know there's not a real way to win except by finding them, or lose by not doing so, it's probably just petty whining on my part. But couple this with the somewhat existential flavor of lonely I've been feeling recently... let's just say the wedding, while short, sweet, and beautiful, didn't help me much. But it wasn't FOR me, I keep telling that fat inflated beast of an ego I have. It was for Alex and Jessie. And I'm genuinely happy for them. It couldn't have happened to a nicer Elven princess and obnoxious little twerp.

On a completely unrelated note, I now have a shiny new black fedora. I can once more terrorize Moscow with my awesomeness. Thanks Grandma!

On a note further unrelated still, I now own a Talking Princess Celestia figurine by Hasbro, bringing the total number of My Little Ponies I own up to two (neither of which did I buy myself). Again, for some reason, thanks, Grandma. I'm sure she chuckled a bit while packing this in the same box as a suave fedora. Now to find a way to spray paint the figurine white like she is in the show without ruining the mane, tail, and wings...